Whether it鈥檚 making their first friends, working through conflicts, or learning how to collaborate, social skills shape who children become and how they navigate the world. Social interactions aren鈥檛 always easy for kids, and as parents, we often wonder how we can help.

This guide is designed to give you practical tips and insights to support your child at every stage of their social development. From preschool to high school, you鈥檒l find strategies, examples, and resources to help you help your child build confidence, lead with empathy, and form healthy relationships.

Together, we鈥檒l explore what it takes to foster meaningful connections and help your child grow into a socially capable and compassionate individual.

What are social skills and why do they matter?

Social skills are foundational abilities that help children connect, communicate, and thrive. These skills, which include everything from listening and empathy to negotiation and teamwork, are crucial for navigating school, friendships, and eventually the workplace and long-term relationships.

Children with strong social skills earn higher grades, have higher self-esteem, and are less likely to have behavior issues. More and more, is linking social skills to mental health, emotional well-being, and happiness.

By fostering strong social skills, parents empower their children to build meaningful relationships, resolve conflicts, and confidently engage with the world around them.

Defining and understanding social skills

Social skills encompass a broad range of behaviors that enable effective interaction with others. For young children, these include learning to share, taking turns, and expressing emotions in healthy ways.

As highlighted in The importance of social skills for children, these abilities begin developing in early childhood and serve as the foundation for future relationships.

Activities and guidance tailored to younger kids, like those discussed in Why social skills are key to your preschooler鈥檚 learning, can foster essential communication and cooperation skills.

The long-term benefits of social skills

Strong social skills don鈥檛 just help children succeed in the classroom 鈥� they are lifelong assets. Kids who can communicate effectively and empathize with others tend to form deeper friendships and navigate challenges more confidently.

However, as children grow, modern challenges, like reduced face-to-face interaction, can impact social development. Recent studies show that teens have less face time with their friends and report higher levels of loneliness than previous generations.

By fostering these skills early, parents can help their kids form strong interpersonal connections and adapt to an increasingly digital world.

How social skills evolve as children grow

Children鈥檚 social skills develop significantly as they grow, evolving from basic interactions to more complex relationships. Each stage of development brings unique challenges and opportunities, shaped by their environment, experiences, and maturity.

Understanding these milestones can help parents guide their children toward building strong and healthy social connections.

Social skills in early childhood

In early childhood, children begin learning foundational social skills like sharing, taking turns, and expressing emotions. Activities like learning to share foster empathy and collaboration, preparing them for more structured social settings. These abilities grow through interactions with peers and caregivers, often first seen in settings like preschool and early extracurricular activities.

Parents can help by giving young children lots of opportunities to learn through play with peers. Little ones need many chances to learn from others and try, try again. Key social skills at this age include the following.

Key social skills in preschool

  • Learning to share
  • Learning to take turns
  • Learning to recognize feelings (and learning to name them)
  • Learning to show kindness and caring about others
  • Learning to resolve conflicts
  • Learning to focus attention
  • Learning to listen to others

Notice all of these skills start with learning. All of these skills are challenges for little ones. They are learning these skills and the adults in their lives can help by supporting them and by modeling the behavior you want to see, being kind and supportive, and giving little ones endless opportunities and encouragement as they try, fail, and try, try again.

Read more about how to help your 3- to 5-year-old build key skills in our article, Social skills in preschool.

Social skills in the elementary years

As they transition to elementary school, children learn to navigate friendships and group dynamics, honing skills like compromise and teamwork. Key benchmarks, like learning to play nicely with others and learning to navigate collaboration and competition foster empathy and more understanding of social norms and the world around them.

In first grade, children often encounter new social challenges as they adjust to larger peer groups and higher expectations, which can reveal the complexities of social hierarchies and relationships. In fact, this teacher shares what makes first grade so different — and this understanding of the changing social dynamics in first grade can help parents offer support and encouragement as their child builds confidence and self-awareness.

Throughout the elementary school years, your child will be growing as they learn to interact positively with teachers and other adults in their lives, peers, and friends. Here are the key social skills elementary school kids need to hone.

Key social skills in elementary school

  • Greetings
  • Learning how to feel and express empathy
  • Learning how to cooperate
  • Following directions
  • Making friends (including choosing friends and being a good friend)
  • Asking questions
  • Expressing opinions
  • Giving feedback
  • Taking feedback
  • Negotiating
  • Resolving conflicts

All of these are skills that your child will be building on throughout their lives. Instilling certain habits and understandings now — like building empathy skills — will help your child in the long run.

Read more about how to help your child build key skills in our article, Social skills in elementary school.

Social skills in middle school

As children enter middle school, social dynamics become more nuanced, with a stronger focus on peer relationships. Adolescents in middle school face challenges like forming identities and maintaining friendships in a more complex environment. These experiences are critical in shaping their sense of belonging and resilience.

Social skills in middle school help kids communicate effectively, work cooperatively with others, manage their emotions, and resolve problems and conflicts. All of these skills are essential in all aspects of life. Here are the key social skills tweens need to develop.

Key social skills in middle school

  • Building confidence
  • Building empathy
  • Building communication skills
  • Learning to take initiative
  • Participating in a discussion
  • Talking about feelings and painful experiences
  • Choosing good friends and being a good friend
  • Recognizing and dealing with peer pressure
  • Expressing how they feel in safe ways
  • Carrying on conversations with peers
  • Sticking up for themselves when needed
  • Asking for help when they need it
  • Brainstorming how to solve their own problems
  • Learning to see others鈥� points of view
  • Working on self-growth (e.g. being less critical, cheering on others, being more forgiving, being more inclusive, etc.)

Notice that these skills tend to start with building and learning. These are challenging years partly because developmentally, kids are growing their skills and abilities by leaps and bounds. One day a tween is struggling to connect with others, and almost overnight they鈥檙e the ringleader of a group discussion. But behind the scenes they are observing, trying, failing, and trying again. As the adults in their lives, you can help by supporting them, being kind and patient, and sharing stories about how you, too, experienced awkward moments, failures, and setbacks in your middle school years.

Read more in our article, Social skills in middle school.

Social skills in high school

When you think of social skills in high school, you may immediately think about friends, cliques, bullying, peer pressure, and social drama. And it鈥檚 true, teens need to navigate the ever-changing, ever-challenging high school social scene. For some, it looks easy. But we know that for all teens, friendships, cliques, and the social scene is rife with challenges, pitfalls, and stress.

In high school, teens engage in deeper, more meaningful relationships, but they may also face difficult situations. Parents should remain aware of signs like withdrawal or changes in behavior that could signal concerns, such as being in an unhealthy relationship or worries about negative influences among friends.

Making it even tougher, is that social skills in high school encompasses so much more than 鈥渏ust鈥� friends and issues with peers.

Social skills help teens with a far wider universe of tasks and goals than making friends and being liked. Kids with strong social skills are better equipped to succeed academically and in the workplace. Social skills also help kids handle stress and adapt to change — something that驶s a big part of the high school years. Here are the key social skills for teens to develop.

Key social skills in high school

  • Communicate clearly and effectively
  • Empathy and perspective taking
  • Flexibility and adaptability
  • Cooperation
  • Conflict resolution
  • Give and accept feedback
  • Get along with others
  • Build and maintain friendships
  • Talk about and manage emotions
  • Resolve conflicts
  • Cope with challenges and setbacks
  • Solve problems
  • Take action
  • Collaboration
  • Express opinions without putting down or insulting others
  • Be assertive without being aggressive
  • Recognize and deal with peer pressure

Social skills help teens build and maintain healthy relationships and interact with others in ways that build connections and bonds without distancing or alienating themselves. As a parent, you can help by modeling skills you want to see, calmly talking through challenges, listening without passing judgment, and reminding your child that you believe in them.

You can read more about how to help your teen develop strong social skills in our article, Social skills in high school.

All about making friends and being a good friend

Throughout your child鈥檚 life, friends will play a big role. Parents can help in many ways.

Helping your child make friends

Friendships have a lasting impact on your child’s life. While you should let your child choose their own friends, there are strategies you can use to help your child make friends and nurture strong relationships, including:

  • Helping your child learn how to start conversations
  • Helping your child find their tribe
  • Teaching your child social skills — especially kindness
  • Fostering your child鈥檚 empathy
  • Encouraging (and organizing, as age-appropriate) play dates, hangouts, and other social activities
  • Fostering your child鈥檚 resilience

Read more about how you can help your child in our article, How to help your child make and keep friends.

Of course, since children spend so much time at school, we often expect — and hope — that they鈥檒l make good friends at school. Having friends at school can have a tremendous impact on how your child feels at school, so it鈥檚 worth thinking about how you may be able to help. In our article, How to make friends at school, we share expert tips that can help, such as how to help children learn how to enter a group. Role playing certain scenarios can help your child understand certain social norms and make the first days of school more comfortable.

For younger kids, start with 5 ways to help your child learn about friendship. The suggestions cover an important basic concept that still needs to be taught: understanding what it means to be a good friend. The earlier that parents can help children learn how to identify when another child is being a good friend and when they themselves are being a good friend (or not), the better. Our video, Helping your child choose good friends, can also be helpful.

When your child is a bit older, the ideas in 4 tips for helping tweens make friends are designed to help kids navigate the ins and outs of friendship in middle school — but they can be really helpful for helping kids of any age. One key concept is about listening and withholding judgement as your child talks about the changing social scene and new friends they meet.

Encourage friends from different parts of life (not just school)

While you want your child to have friends at school, it鈥檚 really important for children to have friends from other areas of their life, be it family (cousins), family friends, neighbors, summer programs or camps, sports, hobbies, church, and other out-of-school activities. Why? Because friendships (and the social scene) change at various stages of life. Friends move away, are put in different classrooms, make other new friends, develop new interests, grow apart, etc. When these inevitable changes happen, it鈥檚 good for your child to have friends from other areas of their life to spend time with.

For kids of all ages, one of the best sources of making friends is through extracurricular activities. Ideally, these are sports, clubs, classes, or hobbies that your child is really curious and excited about. Having a shared interest is a great way for kids to bond. Check out our guide to extracurricular activities for parents for ideas and factors to consider.

Helping your child resolve issues with friends

Every friendship has its ups and downs. When the inevitable conflicts arise, parents can help. Not by fixing it for your child, but by coaching your child and helping them learn how to resolve conflicts on their own.

When your child is younger, the expert advice in How to help your child resolve friendship issues can help you really understand what is going on and coach your child through healthy ways to address underlying issues. Meanwhile, the actionable tips in 6 tips to help your child with peer problems, such as reaching out to the teacher, helping your child stick up for themself, and making playdates, may be just what you鈥檙e looking for.

In the tween and teen years, problems with friends and peers get trickier. The issues can be nuanced, and as a parent, it鈥檚 unlikely you can take action as quickly or effectively as you could have when your child was younger. In our article, How parents can help tweens with friend issues, author and psychologist David Gottlieb shares detailed strategies for helping your child through heartwrenching yet common peer issues that tweens and teens face. His advice on how to lead with empathy, listen, share your own authentic experiences, and coach your tween or teen through problem-solving on their own (and why) is important fodder for any parent鈥檚 tool kit.

If your child is feeling left out, doesn鈥檛 fit it, or gets excluded, check out our information on how to identify and handle bullying.

Girl friendships and dealing with mean girls

Girls can be wonderful, caring, empathetic, and supportive friends. Helping your daughter make friends and nurture those bonds is a wonderful way to support your child鈥檚 development.

However, there are instances where your child may encounter so-called 鈥渕ean girls鈥�. When this happens, we have gathered insights from experts and parents who鈥檝e been there to help.

Addressing common social challenges

Children often face a variety of social challenges as they navigate friendships, peer groups, and personal growth. From overcoming anxiety to handling exclusion and bullying, these moments are critical for building resilience and confidence.

With guidance, parents can help their children manage these hurdles and develop healthy, lasting relationships.

Overcoming social anxiety and building confidence

Social anxiety can make forming connections difficult for children, leading to feelings of isolation.

Parents can help by encouraging open conversations and providing tools to address worries like 鈥淣obody likes me.鈥� Practical strategies, like those outlined in the 6 things to do when your child says, 鈥淣obody likes me!鈥�, can offer relief and perspective.

Helping your child build confidence and resilience by celebrating achievements big and small and talking about your own social struggles as a child can really help.

Dealing with popularity, cliques, and social hierarchy

Popularity and social hierarchies can create pressures for children as they navigate friendships. Some children struggle with feelings of rejection, as seen in experiences like being unpopular in elementary school.

For others, navigating the rocky road of girls鈥� friendships or the realization that some bullies are popular can be confusing and emotionally challenging. When children become overly focused on social status, parents can guide them toward healthier perspectives by addressing why children obsess about popularity.

Navigating peer pressure

Peer pressure can test a child鈥檚 ability to make independent decisions and maintain their values. Teaching children 5 steps to resist peer pressure equips them with strategies to stand their ground.

Conversations about boundaries and decision-making can also help children, as shown in resources like Help your child resist peer pressure and 6 ways to help your child deal with peer pressure. Books about friendship and challenges, such as those listed in our books on peer pressure, can also offer further insight.

Building social skills through activities

Activities that encourage interaction, collaboration, and creative thinking are excellent tools for building social skills. Whether through play, structured role-playing, or extracurricular programs, these experiences allow children to practice communication, empathy, and teamwork in a supportive environment.

Practice through play and role-playing

Role-playing offers children the chance to experiment with different social scenarios in a low-pressure setting. Pretending to solve conflicts, take turns, or work as a team can help them practice essential communication skills and sometimes to see encounters in a new light.

Activities like role-playing to build social skills are particularly effective for younger children. In addition, opportunities like making friends at school foster natural interactions that build trust and camaraderie. Helping kids learn how to make and keep friends teaches them the importance of listening, sharing, and respecting boundaries in their relationships.

Leveraging extracurricular activities

Extracurricular activities provide structured environments where children can connect with others and grow socially. Programs like sports, clubs, and arts offer opportunities for tweens to explore tips for making friends while learning to work as a team.

Extracurriculars can help children with shyness or difficulty in group settings feel more confident. For younger children, options like enriched preschool programs introduce social interaction in a supportive and engaging way, laying the foundation for healthy relationships.

Supporting children with special needs

Children with special needs may require additional support to develop social skills, but with the right strategies, they can thrive in their interactions. In our article, Learning difficulties and social skills: what鈥檚 the connection?, the experts discuss the concept of social competence and how parents can support their child鈥檚 social learning journey.

There are many ways parents can help their children with special needs build meaningful social connections, be it through tailored programs, understanding their child鈥檚 unique challenges, or using tools like Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) or 504 plans.

Strategies for children with learning disabilities and autism

Social interactions can be especially challenging for children with learning disabilities or autism. Fostering social competence in children with learning disabilities involves teaching them how to recognize and respond to social cues.

Studies on social information processing and emotional understanding in children with LD highlight the importance of addressing these needs early.

Helping children understand the language of friendship gives them tools to navigate peer interactions, build trust, and form lasting relationships.

Using IEPs to develop social skills

IEPs can play a key role in helping children with special needs develop social skills by setting clear goals and providing targeted support. Strategies like teaching children to make eye contact can help them feel more connected in their interactions.

Collaborative programs can also address challenges like navigating friendships, as outlined in How to help your child resolve friendship issues. These tailored approaches empower children to build confidence and strengthen their social abilities in ways that align with their needs.

Modern factors influencing social skills

As the world changes, so do the ways children develop and practice social skills. Technology has redefined how kids connect, often replacing face-to-face interactions with digital communication.

Additionally, cultural and language diversity presents both opportunities and challenges, making it essential for children to learn adaptability and empathy in a dynamic social landscape.

Balancing technology and in-person interaction

Technology has opened new ways for children to stay connected, but it can sometimes hinder in-person social development. Studies reveal that teens have less face time with their friends — and are lonelier than ever, underscoring the need for balance.

Parents can encourage meaningful offline interactions through group activities, family time, or shared hobbies. Even during school closures or disruptions, knowing how to help kids stay connected ensures children continue building their social and emotional connections.

Adapting to cultural and language differences

Cultural and language diversity is a key part of modern social interactions. Learning to navigate these differences helps children build empathy, communication skills, and respect for others.

Parents can model inclusive behavior and encourage curiosity, helping kids embrace diverse perspectives and build meaningful relationships across cultures.

Measuring and celebrating progress

Helping children recognize their social growth is just as important as teaching them the skills themselves. By setting achievable goals and celebrating milestones, parents can encourage kids to stay motivated, build confidence, and strengthen their relationships.

Recognizing growth and setting goals

Tracking progress in social skills helps children understand their strengths and identify areas to improve. Setting goals, like maintaining friendships or resolving conflicts, can give them a sense of accomplishment.

Practical advice, such as building and maintaining friendships, offers tools to strengthen connections. Parents can also use insights from experts like Madeline Levine to help kids navigate challenging moments, like feeling left out, with resilience and self-assurance.

Celebrating milestones

Celebrating social milestones, such as making a new friend or resolving a conflict, helps children value their growth. These moments also reinforce positive behaviors and encourage further progress. Read more about the benefits of celebrating your child鈥檚 achievements — big and small.

Supporting your child鈥檚 social skills development

Social skills are essential for building meaningful connections and navigating life鈥檚 challenges. By guiding your child through each stage of development, encouraging activities that foster interaction, and celebrating their progress, you can help them grow into confident, empathetic individuals.